“We were with the Prophet—may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him—when a young man came and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, may I kiss while I am fasting?’ He replied: ‘No.’ Then an elderly man came and said: ‘May I kiss while I am fasting?’ He replied: ‘Yes.’ Some of us then looked at one another, whereupon the Messenger of Allah—may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him—said: ‘I know why some of you looked at one another; indeed, the elderly man has control over himself.’”
Narrated by Aḥmad (no. 6739), with the wording being his, and by al-Ṭabarānī in al-Kabīr (no. 137), from the ḥadīth of ʿAbd Allāh ibn ʿAmr—may Allah be pleased with them both.
Authenticated in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ (no. 1646) and Silsilat al-Aḥādīth al-Ṣaḥīḥah (no. 1606).
Brief Explanation of the Hadith
The Islamic Law came with due consideration for the circumstances of those legally responsible and the differences in their capacities, including matters related to self-restraint and the control of desire. Among the examples of this is what ʿAbd Allāh ibn ʿAmr—may Allah be pleased with them both—reported: that a young man came to the Prophet—may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him—and said: “May I kiss while I am fasting?” He replied: “No,” meaning: do not kiss while you are fasting. Then an elderly man came and asked him the same question, and he granted him permission. Some of the Companions were astonished, as the difference in the responses appeared—outwardly—to conflict with the sameness of the question. The Prophet—may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him—thereupon clarified for them the wisdom behind the differing answers: namely, that the elderly man possesses control over himself—that is, he restrains his desire—and there is no fear that he would fall into that which would invalidate the fast. In contrast to the young man, whose desires are stronger and more dominant; for in his case a kiss may serve as a means leading to ejaculation, and may even draw him into intercourse. He was therefore prohibited, out of fear that he might fall into what is forbidden.
In the ḥadīth there is an indication that legal rulings may vary according to the differing circumstances of people, not due to any variation in the ruling itself. For kissing, in itself, is not among the invalidators of the fast; however, it may serve as a means leading to its invalidation. Thus, it is prohibited—by way of blocking the means—in the case of one who does not feel secure against himself, and it is permitted in the case of one who does feel secure against himself.
It has also been authentically established from the Prophet—may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him—in sound ḥadīths that he used to kiss while he was fasting, and even to engage in physical intimacy, yet he was the one who had the greatest mastery over himself and the most God-fearing of people. This indicates that the basic principle with respect to kissing is permissibility, and that prohibition applies only when there is fear of falling into what is forbidden.
In it there is an indication of the importance of the muftī’s juristic understanding and his sound consideration of the questioner’s circumstances. For the Prophet—may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him—did not give a single, uniform answer to everyone; rather, he responded to each questioner in a manner appropriate to his condition, thereby realizing benefit and averting harm.